He Believes in Us — Part 3: It’s For Us First: You Can’t Overflow Until You’re Full
There’s a memory from my Heaven experience…
that I didn’t share in The River.
Not because it wasn’t real.
But because, if I’m honest…
there was shame around it.
The Moment I Tried to Give Heaven Away
As I began to come back—
gripping a tree root,
pulling myself out of the river,
breath returning to a body that shouldn’t have been breathing—
there was a transition.
Not instant.
Gradual.
Like shifting between worlds.
And in that space…
I could feel it happening.
Everything I had just experienced—
the fullness,
the love,
the presence of God—
it was slipping away.
Like mist.
Like memories dissolving into the air.
And I remember thinking:
“I need a pen.”
“I need to write this down.”
Not just to remember.
But so I could share it.
I was not even fully back…
and I was already trying to give it away.
The Pattern We’ve Been Taught
Looking back now, I see it clearly.
That wasn’t just me.
That was conditioning.
Because we’ve been taught:
You are saved…
so you can be useful.
You are blessed…
so you can give.
You are filled…
so you can pour out.
And while there is truth in giving…
there is something we’ve missed entirely:
You were never meant to skip receiving.
The Lie Beneath the Urgency to Give
Why do we rush to give everything away?
Why do we struggle to sit in joy…
to savor a gift…
to let something be for us?
Because underneath it…
there’s often fear.
Fear that:
We don’t deserve it.
We shouldn’t enjoy it too much.
Our value is only in what we do for others.
So we give quickly.
Before we’ve received deeply.
Before it’s even had time to root in us.
And what we call “selflessness”…
is often just unworthiness wearing a spiritual mask.
What the Father Actually Feels
When I look back at that moment now…
I don’t feel shame anymore.
I feel something else.
I feel the heart of a Father.
Looking at His son…
who had just been held in infinite love…
and immediately believed his value
was in giving it away.
A boy who once thought he was so worthless
he asked to be erased…
now believing his purpose
was still tied to performance.
And I can feel it:
Not disappointment.
Not frustration.
But love.
Deep, aching love.
The Joy Of Watching A Child Receive Fully
Let me ask you something:
If you gave your child a gift…
would you want them to immediately hand it to someone else?
Or would you want them to:
Play with it
Enjoy it
Experience it
Light up because of it
Of course you would.
And Jesus says:
If we, even with our limitations, give good gifts…
how much more does the Father?
So why do we believe
God gives gifts we’re not allowed to enjoy?
The Gift Is For You First
The truth is simple.
And confronting.
What God gives you…
is for you first.
Not selfishly.
Not in isolation.
But in fullness.
Because you cannot overflow
from something you never allowed yourself to receive.
You cannot give love
you haven’t let yourself feel.
You cannot give peace
you won’t allow yourself to rest in.
You cannot give joy
you rush past.
“Change the World” — Revisited
The word God gave me was:
“Change the world.”
For years, I thought that meant:
Go do something.
Go prove something.
Go become something.
But now I see it differently.
It wasn’t instruction.
It was identity.
Be who you are.
And from that…
everything changes.
The Beauty of Receiving
There is a way of living…
where you allow yourself to be filled first.
To:
Savor a meal
Sit in a sunset
Feel the joy of a moment
Receive love without deflecting it
Let peace actually land in your body
To let Heaven touch you…
before you try to distribute it.
Like rain in a drought—
you don’t grab a bucket first to prove your usefulness.
You let it soak you.
Fully.
The Fear That Keeps Us From Receiving
Many of us still hesitate here.
We’re afraid:
Of being selfish
Of being indulgent
Of being “too much”
Or we simply believe:
“I don’t deserve this.”
But that belief contradicts something deeper.
If God gave it…
what makes us think we’re disqualified from receiving it?
This is not arrogance.
This is not ego.
This is alignment with truth:
You are a beloved child.
And beloved children
are meant to receive.
If God gave it, you do deserve it.
A Different Way to Live
So what if…
instead of rushing to give…
you allowed yourself to receive first?
To be filled.
To be nourished.
To be restored.
And then…
from that place…
you give.
Not from obligation.
Not from depletion.
But from overflow.
Because:
“The Father loves a cheerful giver.”
And a cheerful giver…
is someone who has first learned
to be a cheerful receiver.
Three Ways I Practice Receiving
Here are three simple ways God continues to bring me back into this:
1. Savor the favor
Eat slower.
Be slower.
Let moments stretch.
Don’t rush past beauty.
2. Check in with your body
Is this landing?
Am I receiving this?
Or am I moving too fast to feel it?
3. Make space to be filled
Is my schedule so full
that nothing can actually reach me?
The Invitation
So I bless you…
to receive.
To let love land.
To let peace stay.
To let joy expand.
To stop rushing to prove your worth
through what you give.
And to instead…
live from the truth:
You are already worthy
of everything God has given you.
Let yourself be filled.
And watch what overflows from there.
🌿 He Believes in Us Series Complete
Part 1: These Things… and Even Greater
Part 2: Living by Believing in Him, You Will Never Die
Infinite love and blessings,
Nicholas