“…As Yourself”
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength…
and love your neighbor as yourself.”
We hear this all the time.
It’s called the greatest commandment.
But there’s a part of it that often gets skipped… minimized… or completely ignored.
“As yourself.”
The Missing Piece
In many Christian spaces, we’re taught:
Love God.
Love others.
Serve. Give. Sacrifice.
And quietly — often unintentionally — we’re taught to ignore ourselves.
Our needs.
Our bodies.
Our hearts.
As if loving ourselves is selfish.
As if tending to ourselves somehow takes away from loving God.
Here’s the truth I learned the hard way:
You cannot love others fully if you do not love yourself.
Not truly.
Not freely.
Not from Heaven.
The Floor Where Everything Broke
I remember laying on the floor in one of the lowest moments of my life.
Divorced.
Living apart from my children.
Broken in ways I didn’t know how to name.
It felt like I was drowning all over again.
And in that place — just like in the river as a child —
God met me.
Not distant.
Not disappointed.
Not demanding.
Present.
Loving.
Closer than breath.
I remember thinking:
“How am I supposed to change the world like this?”
I was still in a mindset of doing.
What do I do?
What do I fix?
How do I earn my way back?
This was before I had the language for what would later become:
So God met me right where I was.
And instead of giving me instructions…
He asked a question.
The Question That Changed Everything
“What is the greatest commandment?”
But the way it was asked didn’t feel like a command.
It felt like an invitation.
I knew the answer.
Love God.
Love others.
But something deeper was being revealed.
Something I had missed.
Something many of us have been taught to overlook.
Love… as yourself.
The Lie That Keeps Us Exhausted
Somewhere along the way, we learned that loving ourselves is selfish.
So we give.
We serve.
We sacrifice.
And we call it love.
But often… we’re bleeding out.
Running on empty.
Disregarding our bodies.
Ignoring our hearts.
As if that’s what God wants.
As if He’s asking for sacrifice the way ancient mythologies did.
That’s not the God I’ve experienced.
That’s not the Father.
That’s not Jesus.
Learning to Love Myself
In that season — and in the years that followed — I had to learn something I had never truly practiced:
How to love myself.
Not in a surface way.
Not in a “treat yourself” way.
But in truth.
To see myself as:
• a beloved child
• not a problem to fix
• not a sinner God is disgusted by
• not someone earning approval
But someone already held in love.
If you’ve read The River, especially the Glory chapter, you know:
That version of God — the one disappointed, distant, demanding —
could not be further from the truth of Heaven.
Self-Love Is Not Selfish
We’ve confused self-love with selfishness.
But they are not the same.
Selfishness hoards.
Self-love receives.
Selfishness is rooted in fear.
Self-love is rooted in truth.
Selfishness isolates.
Self-love connects.
When we love ourselves as God loves us:
We soften.
We rest.
We receive.
We heal.
And from there…
we finally have something real to give.
Love That Overflows
When I began to walk in this — slowly, imperfectly — everything started to shift.
Including how I loved others.
Including how I showed up in relationships.
Including how I experienced God.
And one of the most beautiful confirmations came later…
On my first date with my now wife, the woman God promised at my most broken point.
She spoke about the greatest commandment…
And she started with loving yourself.
After years of sermons, studies, and conversations where that part was overlooked —
there it was.
Clear. Present. Alive.
One of many moments where I saw:
This is alignment.
This is truth.
This is God.
The Physiology of Love
This isn’t just spiritual.
It’s physical.
When we live disconnected from ourselves:
Our bodies tighten.
Our nervous systems stay activated.
Stress becomes our baseline.
But when we begin to love ourselves — truly — something shifts:
• the body softens
• breath deepens
• safety returns
• healing begins
This is something I explore deeply in
The Physiology of Love in Our Bodies as the Garden of Eden.
Because love isn’t just something we think.
It’s something we experience in our bodies.
A Different Way to Live
What if loving yourself wasn’t optional?
What if it was essential?
What if it was the very thing that allows you to:
• love God more fully
• love others more freely
• live with peace instead of pressure
• give from overflow instead of exhaustion
A Blessing
I bless you to see yourself the way Heaven does.
Not as someone lacking.
Not as someone failing.
Not as someone who needs to earn love.
But as someone already:
Loved.
Chosen.
Held.
Enough.
May you open to loving yourself —
not as an afterthought…
but as part of the greatest invitation ever given.
If this resonates, I explore this deeply in:
📖 Our Bodies as the Garden of Eden
📖 The River: Seeing God and Walking in the Miracle
With infinite love and blessings,
Nicholas